ugly people sure do ruin things
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
sex in a hospital.. check
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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