So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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