the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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