I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
