you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize