I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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