Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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