Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My life is pants optional.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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