Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
