it wasn't lemon gatorade
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
try to milk me bitch
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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