so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize