Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am spending my child support on dildos
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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