We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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