yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i think i have two assholes
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize