Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
