I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
