I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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