You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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