he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and she was petting her beer can
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
