I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize