dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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