you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
