dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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