I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
