so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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