i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
