i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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