Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize