there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
