I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
