I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
