I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
