When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
