I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize