Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
