All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i think my cat just said my name.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
