they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
