I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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