If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize