So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
