Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
