where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
