hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
