just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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