singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
