you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
