i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
