She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
