It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
its liver damage thursday
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
