I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
