I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize