Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
