I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
