I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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