Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
