Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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