hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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