so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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