Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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