I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
