i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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