You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
