dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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