OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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