Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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