i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
