Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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