so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize