He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
